50+ Funny Quotes About Pregnancy Any Mom Will Understand

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Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, but it is a roller coaster for the mom-to-be. With hormones, body changes, and the list goes on. Let’s bring in some humor. You might find a few of these hilarious and funny quotes about pregnancy resonating with you! Let’s lighten the mood and have some fun with this funny but totally relatable quotes.

Sit back and scroll for a bit and enjoy the finer things of pregnancy. Make sure to share with all your mom-to-be’s or brand new mommas so you can both laugh!

Hilarious and Funny Quotes About Pregnancy You Can’t Deny

“Everybody leave me alone. I’ve had a busy day being pregnant and I have to do it again tomorrow.”

“There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it” -Chinese Proverb

“I was told… there would be glowing”

Even though you can't keep a plant alive, I think you're going to be a great parent.

“Yes I’m positive there’s just one baby in there. Can I throat punch you now?”

“The responsible woman in me is budgeting for groceries. The pregnant woman is going “Oooo! Chocolate Cake!”

I wish I were pregnant so I could continue eating for two.

I mean this is a must right?! It is like a free pass of no judgment from the husband or family members since you are growing a baby inside of you!

“Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes”

“To pee or not to pee? That is never the question. Pee.”

You’re going to be great at the staying off your feet and binge eating parts of pregnancy.


“You know your pregnant… When your in the kitchen cooking, drop something and stand there thinking “Do I really need that?”

“I’m pregnant not furry Don’t pet me!”

“Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.” – Rita Rudner

“Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant.”

Just wanted to congratulate you on your pregnancy before the explosive and unpredictable mood swings kick in.


We might be ticking time bombs, but hey, it is hard work being pregnant! You never know from one day to another if the tears will be falling or the rage of no return kicks in.

 “I’ve been to war. I’ve raised twins. If I had a choice, I would rather go to war.” -George W. Bush

“Sneezing for a pregnant chick is like playing Russian roulette; you never know when something’s gonna come out.”

“Wishing I could sleep, but someone is using my stomach for their own personal bounce house!”

You can always complain to me about your pregnancy symptoms as long as I can complain to you about being single.


“My clothes are getting tighter already. Congratulate me for the biggest achievement of my life. I’m going to be a mother soon!”

“Pregnancy used to be a beautiful thing. Now it’s like, ”She Pregnant Too?” ”Oh””

“Congratulations for getting pregnant. Enjoy the luxury of getting your husband’s attention every time you make even a small sound – whether it is a painful moan or a smelly fart.”

Congratulations on your pregnancy and newfound status as designated driver.

If you loved your wine or booze, this one might really hit ya! You get those late night calls to come to grab your friends as they close up the bar.

“When people congratulate me, I like to say, “For what?” and watch them panic”

“Pregnancy: A condition that makes you pee when you laugh and puke when you cough”

“Months have an average of 30 days, except the 9th month of pregnancy which has about 1,000 days.”

“Birthing is the most profound initiation to spirituality a woman can have. – Robin Lim”

You're crapping for two now.


“You do a lot of growing up when you’re pregnant. It’s suddenly like, “Yikes. Here it is, folks. Playtime is over.”

“Feeling fat lasts nine months but the joy of becoming a mom lasts forever.” – Nikki Dalton

I can’t even imagine being pregnant that long! Normally around 35 weeks you are counting down the days, as your body aches and you are over being pregnant!

“Not a waddle. Just pregnancy swag”.

“Parenthood is the scariest “hood” you will ever be in.”

Please come to my lavish baby shower to help us forget how poor we'll be once the baby arrives.


“Peeing on a stick and preserving that stick is the start of the many disgusting things you will do as a mother.”

“Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.”― Erma Bombeck


I'm having a natural childbirth in that it's natural to take drugs that lessen excruciating pain.

Oh, the joyous debate of natural vs medicated in all it’s glory. You know exactly what I mean by getting asked a million times will you be delivering natural by strangers you meet on the streets.

At 8 months pregnant, one does not simply “roll over in bed”

“Pregnancy is a disease from which you recover in 18 years and 9 months.”

“Don’t ask me why I am crying because I don’t know.”

“It’s a great thing about being pregnant – you don’t need excuses to pee or to eat.”― Angelina Jolie

Congratulations on being nauseous in the morning from something other than binge drinking.

Don’t even get me started on morning sickness. You have never experienced sick until you have the “all day sickness” they call morning sickness.

“You don’t realize how many people your friends hate, until you have to name your baby.”

“The childbirth video they show in childbirth preparation classes can make a Quentin Tarantino movie look like a Disney movie.”

“ Being pregnant has made me realize it takes talent not to pee yourself when you sneeze”

Glad to hear your weight gain was due to pregnancy and not depression


“Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.”

I'm saving all of your Facebook pregnancy updates to one day give to your child to one day give to a psychologist.

“Part of being a parent is rolling with the punches, so consider an unexpected pregnancy the universe’s way of helping you to learn to do that.”― Heather Wittenberg

“People always say that pregnant women have a glow. And I say it’s because you’re sweating to death.”

Please come to my lavish baby shower to help us forget how poor we'll be once the baby arrives.

Baby’s are expensive that is for sure. Baby showers are magical for helping you get fully prepared with supplies before the little one arrives. Am I right?

“Ask me the gender and due date one more time”

“Nausea, abdominal discomfort, gas, urinating continuously, pelvic pain, insomnia, acne, fatigue, facial hair, bleeding gums, back pain … Yes, pregnancy is great!”

“The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.”― Kin Hubbard

“Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws, I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold the baby, and I can go out.”― Matthew Broderick

“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.”― Marshall McLuhan

I'm having a natural childbirth in that it's natural to take drugs that lessen excruciating pain.


“If pregnancy were a book they would cut out the last two chapters.”

I can't wait for your baby to be born so you have something besides your pets to over-post about.

What do you think? Have a funny pregnancy quote you’d like to add to the list?

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Photo of author

Kelsey Apley