After having my two girls, my stomach looked completely different. The internet immediately told me I needed to love my new “tiger stripes” and wear them as a badge of honor. Honestly? I just wanted to put on a normal shirt and not think about them at all.
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If you are struggling with stretch marks postpartum, I want to validate something right now. It is completely fine if you do not magically love your changing body. You do not have to throw a parade for your stretch marks. But you also do not have to spend your precious energy hating them.
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Here is how I learned to deal with my stretch marks, shift my mindset, and actually get dressed on the days when my body image is at rock bottom.
The Mindset Shift: Body Neutrality Over Toxic Positivity
We are constantly bombarded with messages telling us to embrace every single flaw. While the intention is good, it can feel exhausting. If you look in the mirror and feel frustrated, being told to “just love yourself” only makes you feel guilty for being frustrated.
Instead of forcing positivity, I highly recommend aiming for body neutrality. Body neutrality simply means accepting your body as it is right now, without forcing yourself to feel overwhelmingly positive or negative about it. It takes the pressure off.
| Toxic Positivity (What we are told) | Body Neutrality (What actually helps) |
|---|---|
| “You earned those tiger stripes! Wear them with pride.” | “My body changed to grow my kids. It is just a biological fact.” |
| “You should feel beautiful in your new skin every single day!” | “I do not have to feel beautiful today to deserve a good day.” |
| “Embrace every single flaw and love your imperfections!” | “I can feel annoyed by my stretch marks and still treat my body with respect.” |
Skincare as Self-Care, Not a Magic Eraser
There are hundreds of creams and oils out there promising to erase stretch marks. I am not here to tell you which one works best, because the truth is that genetics play a massive role in how our skin heals. No lotion is going to turn back time.
However, I still think you should moisturize. Instead of viewing belly oil as a desperate attempt to fix your skin, try reframing it as a moment of quiet self-care. Taking five minutes after a warm shower to rub a nice-smelling lotion into your skin is a way of telling your body, “I am taking care of you.” It feels good to have hydrated, soft skin. Let that be enough.
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Palmer's Cocoa Butter Massage Oil for Stretch Marks
Check PriceDressing Your Right-Now Body
I firmly believe that getting dressed in something other than leggings counts as self-care. When you are feeling insecure about your midsection, the temptation is to hide in an oversized sweatshirt. But hiding usually just makes us feel worse.
The trick is to dress the body you have right now. Do not wait until you fit back into your pre-pregnancy jeans. Buy a pair of pants that fit you today. Look for high-waisted silhouettes that offer gentle support without squeezing. Choose fabrics like structured cotton or linen that drape nicely instead of thin, clingy materials.
The “Bad Body Image Day” Outfit Checklist
Keep this checklist handy for those mornings when nothing in your closet feels right.
- Start with a comfortable base layer. Pick underwear that actually fits your right-now body without digging into your sides.
- Choose a fabric that does not cling. Think structured cotton, linen, or a thick knit instead of thin spandex.
- Add a structured third piece. Throwing a denim jacket or a long cardigan over a basic tee instantly makes it look like an intentional outfit.
- Put on real shoes. Slippers keep you in a slump. Slip-on sneakers or ankle boots signal to your brain that you are ready for the day.
- Do one small extra thing. Put in a pair of hoop earrings, swipe on some tinted lip balm, or tie your hair back with a nice scrunchie.
What to Say When Your Kids Notice
Kids have zero filter. If you have a toddler, they will eventually poke your stomach while you are changing and ask what happened. My girls notice absolutely everything.
When they ask about the lines on my skin, I keep my answer simple and neutral. I tell them, “Those are stretch marks. My skin had to stretch to make room for you to grow.”
I do not make a big deal out of it. I do not sigh, pull at my skin, or complain about my stomach in front of them. I just state it as a biological fact and move on to asking them to please go find their shoes. How we talk about our bodies sets the tone for how they will eventually talk about theirs.
Taking Care of Yourself is Always Worth It
Dealing with stretch marks is less about finding a miracle cure and more about finding peace with the body you live in today. You are allowed to grieve your old body. You are allowed to feel frustrated. But please remember that you are so much more than the texture of your skin.
Put on an outfit that makes you feel comfortable, moisturize your skin because it feels nice, and go enjoy the life you are building with your family. You deserve to show up for your day.
